Someone At Loss
by Listelia
Summary: Season 8. Carter has to tell General O'Neill she left behind a member of her team, on a battlefield won over by Baal. Can the 3 left members of SG-1 reach out to save the one who's lost? Tears, blood, questions, and a whole lot of courage needed... (English translation of my French fic "Un de perdu").
1. Happy birthday, Jack

O Neill walked in the corridors of SGC, whistling, hands in his pockets. He passed by sergeant Harriman who looked like a trapped mouse (he had showed up late to orchestrate the departure of SG 16, this morning) and who gave him a bungled salute, without rancor. O'Neill did not want to complicate things. He was in an excessive good mood. Twelve teams were out there and they all had made satisfactory reports. SG1 had left the day before for P9W453. Teal' c and Carter had even wished him a happy birthday a day earlier, by the time Daniel had arrived in the departure lounge, a little breathless. Daniel was always late.

He arrived in front of his office and opened, still searching for the rest of his song. The stack of files piled up in front of him cooled him a little and he frowned. He by-passed the table and rolled his armchair before sitting down, which allowed him to discover the box put on the seat.

He collected it with perplexity and dropped in his armchair with a half-smile on his lips. He was beginning to smell an explanation to the embarrassed sight of Harriman. He examined the box and realized that he needed a knife to open it. It was fiercely Scotch-taped. He looked in his drawers then resigned to go ask for a knife at the kitchen. He thought he would take advantage of it to ask the sergeant for explanations. He raised his head and remained stunned.

In front of him danced on the wall a farandole of small colonels helding each other hands, their uniforms wearing each a letter of "happy birthday". O'Neill hesitated between burst in laughter and jump up outside his office demanding the culprit. He eventually got up and went to examine the paper colonels. There was 200 of them, maybe even more. They climbed disrespectfully over the decorations of the general, assaulted the door frame then disappeared before reappearing on the other side. He closed the door to see if the joke had been pushed until stick him paper colonels behind the flap and hiccuped of laughter.

Daniel's face, with his " I spit at established rules" smile, was tacked behind the door with a scrawled message. O Neill, delighted, picked up the paper sheet. He was so going to make his friend pay this back.

_I hope you do appreciate your new wallpaper... You can't say I forgot your birthday, this time! Maybe I don't look that way, but I find you manage very well in your new fancy disguise... No hard feelings, Jack. And happy birthday! Daniel__  
__PS: do not kill Walter, I downright had to threaten him..._

The general suppressed his laughter and try to resume to a serious look Only Daniel coul be so little respectful. He returned to his office and took the box before running up to the mess. They gave him a knife and several pairs of eyes having breakfast fixed him while he opened the cardboard box – which ended up was rather embarrassing when a puppet jumped at his face and he couldn't suppress an exclamation of surprise. Daniel was the king to cause him troubles! He retreated examining the contents of the box. He found three birthday cards, of Carter, Teal'c and general Hammond, as well as a word from Cassandra.

In the end, this birthday was maybe one of the best of his life. But still, he would have all the same to find a way to annoy...

- Incoming activation of the gate, Incoming activation of the gate!

He propped up the box under his arm and ran to Control Room.

- It's SG14, sir, said sergeant Harriman. We're receiving a communication.

- Put them on speakers, ordered O Neill, his eyes fixed on the gleaming reflections which surrounded the Gate with a bluish light. SG 1 had left with SG14 and they were supposed to get back only two days later...

- We are under enemy's fire, SGC! shouted Carter's voice. "I repeat, we are under fire! Require permission to cross the gate! Teal' c! Watch out! Hurry, Park!"

O Neill grabbed the microphone.

- Permission granted, colonel! He announced, trying hard to calm his voice. "We're waiting for you, kids."

He fixed the Gate with a somber presentiment.

- Open the iris.

The box Daniel had given him was put on the control panel and reflected slowly the bluish fluctuations of the Gate. It was in the way of somebody who collected it and put it ontop of the computers, in a dead angle of the control room.

Flames came to crash just under the big window. Harriman lowered the protection blind. O'Neill left the control room and tumbled down staircases. In the departure lounge, Teal' c and two men of SG 14 drove through the gate, whereas another fire passed over them and crashed on the console. Major Park, supporting colonel Silver, emerged from the big puddle, followed by Carter.

- Close the iris! yelled the young woman.

Two Jaffa managed to cross just at this moment, but Teal' c shot down the first and the second one found itself stuck between the iris and the Gate.

The whirlpool went out.

- Medical team in departure lounge, medical team in departure lounge, repeated the speaker.

Colonel Silver was holding his ankle. Carter's forehead streamed with blood and her hair was burned over her right temple. O'Neill announced the briefing's time, going to each of them to verify no wound was too bad, as he watched the nurses and doctors taking care of his people. He sighed of relief. Everybody was more or less safe and sound.

An faint bad feeling roamed down his back. No, something was rong. Somebody should have made a sarcastic reflection or tapped his shoulder with a smile.

O Neill caught Teal' c by the arm as he was going out of the departure lounge.

- Where's Daniel?

The sadness printed on the Jaffa's face gave shivers to the general.

- Daniel Jackson fell to on field of honor, said slowly Teal' c. "He died like a brave man."

Something broke down.


	2. I'm so sorry, sir

Furious, half standing, O'Neill looked fiercely at them.

- He died like a brave, but nobody was brave enough to bring back his body! he shouted, his hoarse voice betraying him.

He thumped on the table, happy to hurt himself, as if he had deserved it.

- It's not true, protested Major Park, brushing off her thick brown hair. "Colonel Carter risked her life twenty times to try fetch him."

- There were two lines of Jaffa between him and us, added Matt Green, the doctor in archaeology who was with SG 14.

- We fell in an ambush, continued colonel Silver, repressing a grimace of pain. O'Neill had struck his wounded ankle in sitting down again.

- Why wasn't Daniel with you?

- He was helping Olleya, the young woman from Abydos we met during our first visit.

- Nobody told him to..

He broke off. It was typical of Daniel to part from the group to play Zorro.

- Colonel Carter told him to hurry up, said Teal' c.

His cheeks shivered, like every time he was upset. O Neill fixed the young woman who kept silent from the beginning of the briefing. Her wet hair was stuck on her forehead, a lock on the bandage. Tears flowed on her face. She stared into emptiness.

O'Neill softened.

- Carter. Carter, listen to me. I'm certain you carried out your duty. Carter? Are you listening to me?

- I left him behind, she stuttered suddenly in the startled silence. "I abandoned one of us. I'm _so sorry_, sir, I..."

Tears interrupted her. She squeezed her fists to recover.

- It's not your fault, colonel, said slowly O Neill. "Listen to me. Daniel knew the risks as well as anybody here. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. This is war.  
He got up, signaling the end of the briefing. SG 14 went out of the room. Carter had not moved.

- Can I speak to you, Teal' c? Whispered the general, giving a look of distress in the young woman's direction.

- I left him behind, she murmured through her tears. I left him behind…

* * *

SG1SG1SG1

* * *

O Neill entered his office abruptly and dropped in his armchair.

- Are you certain he died? He broke suddenly. "I wanna say... Daniel's like a cat, he's got nine lives. He always finds his way out...

His voice broke itself in spite of him.

Teal' c bowed slowly.

- Daniel Jackson was right behind me, he...

* * *

SG1SG1SG1

* * *

The scene was happening, once again...

There were shootings and flames everywhere. Alkeshs and gliders swirled in the sky over them. The villagers ran away screaming. Wounded people, burning houses, Jaffa, bursts of P90.

Daniel Jackson ran in zigzags, pushing ahead the young woman, firing shots of zat without looking behind him. The gate was just there, less than a kilometer away.

Fire exploded next to him, sending him to the ground. He got up as fast as he could, rubbing his arm that had struck a wall. He helped the young woman to get up and they started running again. SG 14 and SG1 were a lot further, now. The gate's fluttering blue shone through the trees. Carter was almost at the DHD. Teal' c stopped and faced the Jaffa to cover the young woman while she composed.

The woman from Abydos stumbled and collapsed. Daniel stopped to help her. It was out of question for him to leave the last survivor of his adopted people to undergo Sha' re's fate.

- Teal' c! Where did they came out from? yelled Carter, pointing at the troops of Jaffa which had just appeared from the forest and walked onto them, surrounding the gate little by little.

Daniel grasped Olleya's arm and pulled her towards the gate. The ambush closed slowly on the teams. Daniel increased his speed, bending to avoid the Jaffa fires which buzzed around him. A few meters and they would be with the others. Ten meters, another five, fo...

- Daniel!

Carter's voice reached him as the pain burst in his lungs. He collapsed.

- Daniel! Daniel...

Olleya's voice floated somewhere around him. He lifted up himself on an elbow, his mouth full of blood. Everything became fuzzy. He saw Teal'c shooting down two Jaffa that were approached him, then black flies danced in front of him.

- Daniel! Hold on!

Sam's heart-broken voice. His elbow gave up. His chin struck the muddy ground. The suffering was so unbearable... He wanted to get up, to... His eyes were so blurred...

Olleya collapsed next to him, as in slow motion, her long red hair spreading in the mud...

- Daniel!

- Colonel Carter! No! Watch out!

Park's voice was deformed by anxiety. Teal' c caught up with Sam and obliged her to bend to avoid a shot of flames. Protected behind the DHD, her eyes streaming with tears, Sam fixed Daniel's body, about twenty meters away. He had another jolt, as if the young man tried to get up one more time, then a Jaffa pointed his weapon at him...

* * *

SG1SG1SG1

* * *

- Carter! Carter, for God's sake! Wake up!

She jumped. She was in the debriefing room. The general was in front of her, shaking her shoulders. She looked at him without understanding.

- They _finished_ him! She hiccupped. "These brutes! I let them, I..."

- Sam... It 's over, calm down...

All her body shivered. Her eyes were lost in space, her fists wrinkled against her neck. O'Neill hesitated, then brought her slowly against him.

- It 's over, he repeated. "It is not your fault, calm down..."


	3. If only I had been over there

Silence reigned in the SGC corridors, strange, unusual. Everybody whispered. In the departure lounge, technicians were removing the black hangings and the flags. Somebody was collecting the petals that had escaped from the funeral wreath during the ceremony and fallen on the footbridge.

O Neill took his eyes off the gate and looked at his open hands. He was standing in the debriefing room, in front of the window through which Daniel had contemplated the Stargate for the first time.

- It can't be over, Daniel, he murmured. "You can't leave like that..."

A tear escaped from his left eye. He touched it, surprised to feel himself crying. It had been a long time... Daniel often cried. Carter sobbed easily and even Teal'c's eyes could be filled with tears. But he himself...

He contemplated his hands again.

- If only I had been over there...

He inhaled profoundly, raised his head.

- You, above, men in white. I hope that you've got him with you...

His voice frightened him. It was so empty. So lonely in the silence of the debriefing room.

- Sir?

He turned around slowly. Sergeant Harriman stood up straight in front of him.

- I found that in the Command Room. I believe it belongs to you.

O'Neill looked down on the long red and black table. He swallows with difficulty.

It was the box.

* * *

SG1SG1SG1

* * *

Pete pressed on the bell with his elbow and stood up again, delighted beforehand by the effect he was going to produce. Sam opened the door and had an exclamation of surprise.

The man smiled, with a red rose between his teeth. He presented proudly two other roses in his hands, a yellow and a white one.

- So, he chewed on, what colors for the wedding, then?

The young woman had a hiccup he took for joy. He removed the rose of his mouth and bent to kiss her. At this moment only he noticed that she was crying.

- Sam! What's going on?

He looked alternately at her ravaged face and at the scar still had on her forehead. She stepped aside to let him in.

- I don't really have the mind for that, she stuttered. "I..."

- Sam... come on, tell me what's going on, whispered Pete, hugging her while trying to hide his alarmed look. He helped her to the sofa and had her sit.

She seemed to have lost ten kilos during three weeks when he had been absent. She had heavy dark circles under her eyes and she seemed not to manage to explain what was ruining her.

- Sam, please... Everything was okay, two weeks ago, when I called you... Samantha, please...

- Daniel… he died, she stammered. "It's my fault… I could do nothing…I gave up on him… I left behind one of us..."

- That's the only thing she's been saying for the last nine days, said a dark voice behind them.

Pete nearly jumped.

General O'Neill was standing in the door frame.

- 'was opened, he shrugged.

- Daniel was one of your team members, isn' it?

- Yes, answered O'Neill with a look that said "I want to close the subject".

He stepped in.

- I'd like colonel Carter to return to the base, he added. "I had given her some time off, hoping she would overcome the shock, but according to Hammond and the doc, it'd be better if she was with her usual team members, back to work.

Pete, helpless, nodded.


	4. Unscheduled activation of the gate

Teal' c winked and opened his mouth, almost ready to speak. Then he pressed his lips togheter and slowly lowered his head. One month, already... Every time he opened his eyes, he expected to see him. He always had the impression Daniel still meditated with him. Well, tried. Daniel was far too talkative to manage to remain more than a quarter of an hour eyelids closed and in silence. But at least he made the Jaffa speak.

Teal' c went to the sink to splash his face with a little water. He faced himself in the mirror and for one moment, it was as if Daniel was in front of him, cleaning his glasses and asking for news of Ry' ac and his young wife. The picture disappeared. Teal' c finished drying his face and put the towel aside. Again, the mirror livened up.

_Flashes of Daniel laughing, studying old texts...His confident look turning to Teal' c while waiting for the meaning of an unknown word. Daniel devastated by Shar'e's death... Daniel trying be forgiving... Daniel trying to communicate with heaps of people so different from him... Daniel quarrelling with O'Neill... Daniel fuming because he couldn't help... Daniel teaching him to drive_...

The mirror reflected again the grave face of the Jaffa. He swallowed, made a mental cross on the past and went out of the room.

- Unscheduled activation of the Gate, unscheduled activation of the Gate…

Teal' c lengthened his steps, arms crossed in his back, according to his habit.

- Teal' c! Wait for me.

Carter, breathless, caught up with him.

- Do you think it's again one of these strange activations? With the former codes of SG1, the ones we changed because they were known by the enemy.

- It could, said Teal'c, smiling because the young woman seemed to have regained some colors since O'Neill made her repair all the naqhadah generators he could put his hand on.

- Do you think it could be Urgo or Harlan, for example? added Carter. "I know, it's stupid, but..."

- Ah! Here you are! exclaimed O'Neill from the staircase's top.

He had an extremely nervous look. Sweat shone on his upper lip. He was walking in circles and sergeant Harriman looked very disturbed. Somebody had dropped his file on the ground and everybody watched the Gate glittering behind the window.

- Wha's going on, O'Neill? asked Teal' c, raising his eyebrow.

- The code is correct, this time.

Carter opened wide eyes and looked at the screens. On all the computers displayed the recognition of the code: SG 1 from P9W453.

- That's not possible, blew the young woman. "Nobody… all the teams..."

- Somebody has _not_ come back, said slowly O'Neill.

Carter swallowed hard.

- Daniel died, sir. I saw it.

- Indeed. I saw it too, added Teal' c.

O Neill breathed in, then banged his fists.

- You saw him falling on a goa' uld battlefield. Maybe they put him in a sarcophagus...

- In this case, Daniel may not be Daniel any more, said Teal' c. "The Jaffa who laid the ambush belonged to Baal."

- The MALP 's getting a picture, sir, said the sergeant.

A brown face with curly hair and very dark eyes appeared, cranked with worry. It was a man about forty years old.

- It's not Daniel, murmured Carter, horribly disappointed.

- Move the camera, ordered the general. This chap is holding himself strangely, like if he's carrying someth…

There was a triple shout of surprise.

- God, it's _Daniel_… whispered the young woman.

Teal' c tilted his head.

- He requires medical care.

O'Neill grabbed the micro.

- Daniel! Daniel, do you hear me?

- I am Xiaolin, said the unknown man in front of the camera. "Inhabitants of the Tauri, listen to me! I am the brother of Freya of Tok' ra. Please, help me! Help us..."

O'Neill's jaw wrinkled, imperceptibly, before he decided.

- Open the iris, he ordered. "Xiaolin, you may come."

Sam and Teal' c were already running towards the departure lounge. There was a familiar grating then two men drove on the footbridge.

- Medical team in departure lounge! Shouted Sergeant Harriman in the loudspeaker, whereas the Command Room applauded, euphoric.

O'Neill jumped up more than he climbed on the footbridge. Xiaolin was already getting up, brushing off dust from his robes. Carter knelt down near the body, next to him.

- It's okay, Daniel, it's okay… she sobbed, nervewracked.

The general pushed Xiaolin aside without worrying about his protests and dropped next to the young man. He lifted his head, tapped his cheeks.

- Daniel... Danny, d'you hear me? You're home...

Teal' c bent with a big smile on his face. Daniel coughed. He brought a hand to his head and moaned.

- Move away, ordered doctor Brightman, clearing herself a passage up to the young man.

- It's not looking good, doc, said O'Neill with concern.

Daniel stammered. He half-opened his eyes. His confused look passed on the banister, on his hand, on the general's face.

- NO! He screamed. No, _please_, stop! Not that, not _again_...

He hiccupped, curled up under the astounded eyes of his team-mates. Doctor Brightman called the nurses with a stretcher and they put Daniel on it. O'Neill was still in shock. Carter followed the stretcher but stopped like if she had been pricked by a wasp, just before leaving the departure lounge. Teal' and the general went back to her after they directed Xiaolin to a group of soldiers.

- It can't be, murmured the young woman.

- Baal couldn't pass on torture, said gloomily O'Neill. "That bastard..."

- It's not that! Carter cut in. "What he said, while I followed the stretcher...

Teal' c raised an eyebrow.

- He believes you died, sir.

The young woman looked extremely concerned.

- To be exact, he believes _colonel_ O'Neill died.


	5. Daniel would never give in under torture

The general's eyes surveyed doctor Brightman, Carter, Teal' c and Xiaolin who sat around the long red and black table. Relief and puzzlement got involved in most of the looks.

- How 's Daniel since yesterday evening?

- I was able to establish a diagnosis and to begin a treatment, said doctor Brightman. "He's very weak and shows several wounds : burns, bruises, cuts. He has two broken ribs and an inflammation of the throat. And he's lacking sleep."

- Nothing that looks like a time bomb?

- No traps. Physically, he's got nothing I can't take care of. But...

She broke off and frowned.

- He's convinced that he's a member of a SG1 of which you'd still be the colonel, sir, she explained. "One of the nurses heard him mention "major Carter" and "general Hammond" in his sleep. And he believes you all died."

- Do you think we're dealing with a Daniel from a parallel dimension? asked O'Neill, turning to Sam.

Xiaolin cleared his throat before the young woman had the time to answer.

- You are the ones who came on _Blue Comte_, one month ago?

- I sent nobody on a planet with a cheese name, protested the general.

Carter put on screen the address and coordinates of the planet where they had lost Daniel.

- He means P9W453. Yes, that's us.

- Then this Daniel Jackson is the Daniel Jackson you know. No other inhabitant of the Tauri came to _Blue Comte_ except for you, in years.

- So what made his mind go back, then?

- Torture, said Teal' c.

O Neill clenched his teeth.

- You mean they made him turn half crazy?

- Not them, intervened Xiaolin. "He. Baal."

- I voluntarily held on questioning you before the debriefing, said the general. "But now we're going to need some lights on your meeting with Daniel. Given that he can't answer us..."

He left his last sentence in the air with a look in the direction of doctor Brightman. She strongly shook her head.

- Daniel is in a state of extreme exhaustion. All visits are forbidden. I would even say especially _your_ visits, general, and SG1's.

- Why? asked O'Neill.

Teal' c raised an eyebrow and Carter moved her chin forward to protest.

- Honestly, it's an intuition more than anything else, admitted the doctor. "But I have the feeling the emotional shock to see you alive while he is persuaded of the opposite would be too rough for him, at the moment."

- Is it my turn to speak, now? asked Xiaolin.

The general didn't manage to hide a pout.

- OK. It's your turn. Be convincing.

- I have to tell you first thing that I perfectly understood why you had me locked up all day long and the fact that I am watched even now - even if I do not appreciate it.

He shot a disgusted look to both armed guards who were standing some steps behind his armchair.

- I understand your reaction. You have no proof of my good faith.

- Go to the _point_, please, sighed O'Neill.

Xiaolin looked at him with utter desdain.

- I am Xiaolin, the brother of Freya, host of the Tok' ra Anise.

- Beautiful days in prospect, growled out O'Neill.

- If you do not believe me, summit the Tok' ra...

- Needless, said Jacob Carter's voice. He was standing at the top of the staircases. "I confirmed your existence as soon as I was told your name by General O'Neill."

- You do not carry a symbiote, said Teal' c.

- It's also what I thought, confirmed Carter.

- My sister was deadly sick when she welcomed Anise, said Xiaolin. "I promised to share my body with the Tok' ra when I would be brought down by a disease or a wound. In the meantime, I give other services."

- True, said Jacob, coming to sit next to his daughter. "Xiaolin is Baal's lothar."

- _Was_, corrected Xiaolin. "I doubt the escape of doctor Jackson pleases my former master."

He had a small throat laughter, very satisfied with his own joke.

- Lothars are always human beings. None of the Tok' ra could be as such, Baal would smell immediately the presence of the symbiote. So Xiaolin is very useful for us. He excels at the art of giving confidence to the Goa' uld.

- Can we come to what interests us? asked O'Neill, annoyed. "How did you know who was Daniel, _why_ did you help him – or not - for example?"

Xiaolin shook his shoulders, a little irritated.

- Baal knew exactly who was this young man when we collected him. He did not hesitate one second.

- You "collected" him?

- Baal always goes around the battlefields to look at the corpses, to see if there are some bodies that could be of use to him or an enemy he could exchange for territories, explained Jacob.

Carter shivered.

- Baal managed to extirpate from him some of your iris codes, continued Xiaolin.

- Daniel would never give in under torture! roared O'Neill, slamming a big punch onto the table.

Everybody jumped.

- Jack… said Jacob sadly.

The general opened his mouth to answer back but Xiaolin was faster than him.

- Baal's base was attacked, yesterday. I do not know exactly by which Goa' uld. There are strong chances it was Amatserasu but I could not prove it. The shootings affected the base and most of the devices were put out of service at the beginning of the attack. I thus took advantage of the confusion to free your friend.

- Long live Amatserasu, growled out O'Neill.

- All of this does not explain why Daniel thinks he's back a year ago, said Carter.

- Torture, repeated Teal' c.

The young woman opened her mouth, wanting to protest, but the phone rang at the same moment. O'Neill picked up.

- Doc, they're asking for you at the infirmary, he said after listening for a few seconds.

Suzie Brightman left her file on the table and rushed outside the debriefing room.

- I will return among the Tok' ra, since you do not need my help any more, said Xiaolin. "I shall supply you with a written report. This is your habit, isn't?"

Jacob nodded and accompanied him to the Command Room. Teal' c got up, his arms crossed in his back. He went to the window and watched the gate whoosh up. Carter rubbed her temples.

- I can't believe Daniel gave in under the torture, she murmured. "In Honduras, he never spilled the beans. And nevertheless…"

- Baal is nothing of a guerillo, said Teal'c.

- I'm not believing this, repeated furiously O'Neill.

- I don't want to believe in it either, said Teal'c seriously, turning round.

Carter didn't say anything but her eyes were pleading for this eventuality to be wrong.


	6. They all died because of me

Daniel was sleeping,laying on the other side of the thick window. O'Neill was watching him, feeling helpless. There was no change, no improvement. Yes, his friend's wounds were healing, but he kept begging the nurses to let him see general Hammond. He kept blaming himself for the deaths of colonel O'Neill, major Carter and Teal'c.

Suzie Brightman had decided to try something else. She pretended to agree with him. She waited for when Daniel woke up then told him General Hammond would come to see him as soon as he would be a little better.

- Please, Daniel… I know it's hard, but you really have to tell me how SG1 died. It'll help relieve the pain… please, tell me …

Daniel shook his head. He had lost weight and his eyes were so big on his pale features.

- I know General Hammond will want to know but I can't, Suzie… I can't…

She checked the drip, trying not to look at the window.

- It doesn't matter, she said friendly. "Tell me just how SG 1 was captured, then."

Daniel closed his eyes. Sweat was shining on his forehead.

- I can't remember… any… my mind's – so _empty_… I can only remember…

A choked sob escaped his throat.

- They died, Suzie… they all died because of me …

- It's not true, protested doctor Brightman softly. "You did everything you could to…"

- No!

Daniel tried to get up. Tears flowed on his cheeks.

- No, I let them die! It's _my_ fault! My fault … Oh, Jack … Sam …

O Neill brushed his hair with discouragement. On the other side of the mirror, doctor Brightman was trying to calm Daniel. She gave him an injection, then put a wet gauze compress on his burning forehead.

- There, there… it's over…it's okay, Daniel...

The young man half-closed his eyes, exhausted.

- You think I've lost it, isn't it ? Suzie…

The woman flashed a gentle smile.

- No, Daniel. Your mind's as sane as mine. But I believe someone hurt you a lot...

He settled a little better on his pillows and passed a hand in front of his eyes, as to to chase away a nightmare.

- I can't remember a thing, he murmured. "I just have flashes… everything's so fuzzy..."

- What's the last thing you can remember? asked softly doctor Brightman.

- I was preparing a prank for Jack. With Walter… for his birthday...

- I know. The colonel liked it a lot.

- He's always saying I forget his birthday every year. So… well. Then, it's probably not that easy to be the new general, anyway…

O'Neill straightened up, stunned. On the other side of the window, the young woman kept asking questions with patience, in spite of her excitement.

- Do you recall a mission on P9W453?

- I... Natives called it - er... _Blue Comte_, isn't it ? I... yeah, I do... A bit…

- Major Carter… (she hesitated then continued, while mopping his forehead as if everything was normal) _colonel_ Carter said you were late on the group …

- I was with Olleya… you know, the woman from Abydos SG14 met during the first visit. She had left Abydos before Anubis destroyed the planet...

- Was it someone from your family?

- No, just a friend of Sha' re...

He had a weak smile, lost in distant memories.

- Olleya was always pulling pranks on us. She was one of the women who "prepared" me for my marriage… God, that thing stank...

Suzie Brightman raised her eyes towards the two-way mirror and, knowing O'Neill was watching, thumbed up discretely.

- You were glad to find her, then.

- I didn't have time to tell her anything, y'know… mumbled Daniel, half asleep because of the medecine. "There was the negotiation and then we were attacked..."

His face tensed up.

- You were attacked… repeated the young woman, slowly. "And then?"

- No… moaned Daniel, eyes closed and wrinkled in pain. "No, _please_… not another one… please… I _beg_ you, don't..."

Doctor Brightman increased the calming dose. He stammered a bit, restless, then sank into unconsciousness. The young woman frowned, grabbed a file and left the room, after asking a nurse to watch the archaeologist.

- What's going on? demanded O Neill, coming to her. "Why does he do that?"

- I don't understand, sighed Suzie Brightman. "It looks like he's blocking his recent memories, from his captivity, as if he was afraid of it. It's unconscious, of course. In any case, he seemed to have back his memories prior of the mission."

- Does that means I will finally be able to speak to him?

- Maybe, smiled the young woman. "But tomorrow, anyway. Tonight, he's too tired."

- OK, doc. Tomorrow, without fail.

The general had the smile of a delighted kid.


	7. Here comes the only sensible question

_**I felt so grateful and SO honored by the reviews, the followers and people who add this story in their favorites, I posted two chapters ! I hope they'll be up to your expectatives...**_

_**Thank you so much !**_

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* * *

Carter finished distributing the files.

- This is our opinion on the question, she explained. "Doctor Brightman and I thought for a long time about it, taking into account the notes Janet had gathered about Daniel."

O'Neill went quickly through the photos and comments, and his face closed.

- Daniel is the most sensitive of us, said Carter. "He can feel in an extreme way offenses, suffering, sorrow. Janet noticed he was among us the most susceptible to give in to mental orders or psychological pressure."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

- Every time we underwent an invasion or aggression with a strong psycho-visual sense, Daniel was the one of us who had the most trouble to resist it. Suzie and I think Baal exercised on Daniel a mental torture rather than physical.

- Meaning?

- To tell the truth, I don't know, confessed Carter. "But I imagine he must have convinced him he was going to kill us if Daniel didn't reveal the iris code, for example. I'm sure Baal knew very well Daniel wouldn't be as strong against a threat of this kind, as to a physical pain."

- But Daniel blocks his memories, explained Suzie Brightman. A post-traumatic reflex. We can't thus know _what_ exactly Baal told him.

- And _how_ he made him believe so hard in our deaths! added Crankcase.

- When I visited him, this morning, he seemed convinced I was an hallucination, said O'Neill in a frustrated tone.

- Even if he does recognize it's absurd.

- Moreover, he continues to scream " don't hurt the colonel " in his nightmares, specified doctor Brightman.

- Will he be cured? asked Teal'c.

- Here comes the only sensible question, said O'Neill, his teeth clenched.

He _hated_ his helplessness. He _hated_ listening to Daniel beg _them_ to "spare Jack". He _hated_ seeing him so lost. He hated above everything the fact Daniel considered himself guilty of a murder which had never taken place. And he _HATED _ Baal.

- Sir?

He raised his head and discovered everybody was looking at him.

- Doctor Brightman thinks Daniel won't heal as long as we can't prove Baal deceived him, explained Teal'c.

- But for that, it's necessary to know _how_ Baal deceived him, added Carter.

- The only way to know exactly what Baal did to Daniel, so to be able to free him from it, is to use hypnosis or the technology of the Tok' ra, said Suzie Brightman.

- I hate the idea of hypnosis and I don't want Anise to come here, grumbled O'Neill.

- My father would take care of it, suggested Carter.

The general hesitated a moment, then gave his agreement.


	8. Baal was still laughing

The gate shut down. O'Neill looked warily at the box carried by two Tok' ra, coming behind Jacob.

- You brought back your hologram thing-y ? He asked abruptly.

- I brought the technology which allows to visualize memories, yes, corrected Sam's father in a severe tone.

- Then let's put ourselves at work at once, intervened doctor Brightman, sneaking in between the men. "Doctor Mackenzie prepared Daniel. According to him, the first memories that will form onto the hologram should be from his captivity."

They followed her to the infirmary. They settled down behind a folding screen, in case Daniel would wake up. Carter sat on a bed, in the shadows, to keep an eye on both Daniel and the hologram. Jacob put the module on Daniel's temple then "switched on" the device.

There were some cracklings, then ,little by little, an image formed between the bars.

**_It was Baal's face. He was laughing. He held a flask in his hand._**

- It's his infernal thing, mumbled O'Neill. "It burns."

**_Baal tilted the flask in their direction and suddenly the picture vacillated before becoming clear again._**

**_Baal was still laughing. He now had a knife in his hand._**

Carter gave a worried look to Daniel. Sweat streamed on his forehead. He twisted on his bed, stuttering.

- Doctor Brightman? I think there's something wrong.

- We need to switch off the device, said the young woman after taking Daniel's pulse, her eyes fixed on the monitor. "His fever is rising and his heart rhythm accelerated. Stop everything!"

- Wait! exclaimed O"Neill. What was _that_?

It was him.

**_Jack O__'__Neill was on the screen, chained. Two Jaffa threw him at Baal__'__s foot and they clearly saw his colonel tags._**

The monitor got into a panic. Doctor Brightman rushed to Daniel and tore away the small module from his temple.

- It's over, she said in a furious voice. "And I forbid you to try again!"

They went out of the room with dark faces.

- We won't be able to know more than that, now. And nevertheless, something terrible must have happened...

- There's one other option, said Jacob slowly. "But I don't know if he will accept."

- Who?

- Xiaolin. He was Baal's lothar. He must have attended the torture.

- Remember what he said, continued Carter, lighting up. "He helped Daniel to escape because he _couldn__'__t bear any more to see him undergo Baal__'__s cruelty_."

- You mean if we connect Xiaolin to the memory machine, we'll see what happened to Daniel? asked O'Neill.

- Indeed, nodded Teal' c.

- Jacob, send immediately a message to the Tok' ra. Tell them to send back Xiaolin as quickly as possible!

- Sometimes, I have the slight impression I'm your errand boy… mumbled Jacob, while giving the device to Teal'c and beginning running towards the launching room, accompanied by Sam.


	9. He was alone

Xiaolin complied grudgingly. Jacob told them the man had expressly refused to say exactly what had happened during his mission as Baal's lothar. He had always transmitted faithfully the information about the movements of the Jaffa, etc. But he seemed to hide something.

They settled in a VIP room. Everybody perched on tables and armchairs. Jacob applied the module to Xiaolin's temple and they all held their breath.

Slowly, the images formed.

**_A first hologram showed Daniel's body on the battlefield, Baal ordering them to return with him to the base and the Jaffa putting the young archeologist in a sarcophagus._**

Then the unstable picture diluted.

Xiaolin frowned and tilted his head aside to concentrate.

Another image appeared.

- Oh memory, memory… hummed O'Neill in a sour tone.

**_The railing of Baal's room of torture was appearing. They saw the Jaffa bringing Daniel and throwing him at it. Baal turned slowly around him, a sadistic smile on his face._**

**_- You are the human they call Daniel Jackson, isn't it? The one thanks to whom the Tauri was able to use the Stargate…_**

**_- Pity for you, right? boasted Daniel on the screen._**

**_Baal opened the board in front of him, and took out several flasks and a disentangled dagger, which he caressed casually._**

- Ouch, said the general.

Carter and Teal' c glanced at him, uncertain. Jacob sighed.

**_Daniel let out a cry of pain._**

**_- Your fellow humen are very resistant, chuckled Baal. "Your bodies are so primitive, though!"_**

**_Daniel panted a little. He was trying hard to hide the pain and look at Baal with desdain._**

- Primitive yourself! belched O'Neill as a second dagger sank into Daniel's hip.

- Are we going to watch this to the end? articulated Carter, trying not to listen to the strangled cry that followed the poison thrown by the goa' uld on their friend.

- It's the only way of knowing why Daniel considers us dead, said the general raucously.

**_- You can kill me a hundred times, stuttered Daniel on the hologram, blinded by tears of pain. "I will never tell you anything!"_**

The young woman tried to hold her anger and her frustration in front of her team-mate's sufferings. Teal'c wriggled on his chair, feeling Carter's emotion win him over. O'Neill tightened his fists, his eyes on the picture, so close his nose almost touched the hologram.

**_- But I do not plan on killing you infinitely, whispered Baal, like a snake. "I have more interesting methods..."_**

**_He tilted one last time his flask in Daniel's direction ... Then he pressed somewhere on the console and the railing made Daniel fall over to an abyss. The image fell out, then the young archaeologist was once again stuck on the railing. There were more shouts, more questions without answers, more panting of pain. Daniel died once again, then once more._**

O'Neill's eyes were blood injected. He crushed the edge of the table. Carter touched his arm with caution.

- You underwent the same treatment, isn't it?

The general didn't answer. A few minutes of silence passed, during which Xiaolin took some rest. No image thus appeared.

- What is he looking for, putting him all the time in the sarcophagus? murmured doctor Brigthman, swamped.

- Dependence, said Teal' c.

- He didn't show any sign of withdrawal, protested the young woman.

- Daniel remained prisoner during a month, thought Carter out loud. "If Baal stopped killing him for a moment, he probably got unsused to it..."

- He was alone...

All heads turned to the general. He had got up, showing them only his back. His eyes were on Daniel in the infirmary, through the two-way mirror.

- He came to help me... He stayed with me, all the time...

His voice had no flaw. Carter shivered. It was the first time O'Neill talked of his captivity.

- He was alone in front of Baal...

Jack turned around. They could clearly see he was fighting with his emotion.

- He's no soldier, he never had training for that and he was alone...

Carter bit her lips. Guilt invaded her again. Xiaolin opened his eyes, shook himself awake.

- Shall we continue? he asked.

O Neill resumed to his place. Silence came back.

**_Daniel was so pale. His eyes were challenging Baal with despair energy. He wasn't injured, but he looked exhausted. The goa' uld opened the console and took his dagger. He played with it, a cruel smile on his lips._**

**_- __You are very brave, human, indeed, he said, sarcastic. "But let's see how you'd react if one of your friends was to be killed..."_**

**_Teal' c appeared on the screen, chained, marks of whipping gashed on his face and shoulders. Blood was streaming in his eyes._**

- Impossible, murmured Carter.

Teal' c faced his holographic double, unaware he was half-standing. O'Neill squinted his forehead.

- Something's wrong...

- I'm also getting this feeling, mumbled Carter, ill-at-ease.

- I have no hair, said the Jaffa slowly.

- Exactly! said Jacob. "It's like an old version of you, Teal' c. Like if this was a video of the last year or..."

He broke off.

**_Two Jaffa were approaching Daniel. One of them forced his mouth open, while the other one poured a bluish liquid in it. Daniel struggled, spitting, coughing, then eventually calmed down, half conscious._**

- It's this horrible drink, said O'Neill. "Sokar's blood! This son of..."

- It's an hallucinatory drug, explained Carter to Suzie Brightman. "It makes you believe you're back in the past, makes you think what surrounds you is real. It allows Goa' ulds to ask questions while taking the shape of your friends or family."

- I don't think it's this drug, said Jacob with perplexity. "Look, Daniel is coming back to his senses. He's not in an imaginary reality. He looks aware of his situation."

**_- Teal' c! This can't be... oh, no! Daniel cried out, discovering the Jaffa._**

**_- They got us all, said slowly Teal' c, winking to distinguish the young archaeologist in spite of his eyelids swollen and stained with blood._**

**_- You thought yourselves clever than me? mocked Baal, taking the stalk with the claw head and stretching it to the Jaffa._**

- I know this thing, mumbled O'Neill. "And I do _not_ like it coming into the picture..."

**_Teal' c folded in two under the pain. His scream filled their ears as they watch the hologram, powerless, petrified._**

- This is monstrous... murmured doctor Brightman, paling.

**_- STOP! plaided Daniel. "Please, I beg you! You're gonna kill him!"__  
__Baal removed the claw from Teal'c's abdomen for a moment._**

**_- Who said it's not exactly what I want? He laughed. "Unless you show yourself a little more cooperative, human. Give me the code of your iris and I shall stop making the shol'va suffer."_**

**_Daniel's eyes went quickly from Teal' c to the sarcastic face of the goa' uld, then back._**

**_- Do not answer... Daniel Jackson... do not betray..._**

**_The Jaffa had raised his head with difficulty. The words were painfully coming through his bruised lips. Daniel looked at him with all the strength and courage he could gather. Baal kicked Teal'c, furious._**

**_- Give me the code or he will die! he exclaimed, his voice full of fury._**

**_- No... stuttered Daniel, torned apart. "No... I won't tell you... Teal' c... Teal' c..."__  
__With crualty, Baal pressed the iron claw onto Teal' c. There was a last scream of pain, terrible, then the Jaffa's body slumped on the ground, sluggish.__  
__- Goodbye... Teal' c... forgive me... stammered Daniel, tears streaming on his face._**

**_Baal turned to him and threw the iron stalk to his face. It struck Daniel's eyebrow and he lost consciousness.__  
__- Xiaolin, ordered the goa' uld. "Make sure the human stays alive. But do not put him into the sarcophagus. I will come back!"__  
__Baal went out of the room and his Jaffa collected the body of Teal'c and took it away._**

The image vacillated then diluted completely.  
- Can we take a break? asked Xiaolin, looking exhausted.  
O'Neill nodded, still under shock.


	10. Don't tell him anything, Daniel

Silence reigned in the debriefing room.

- Xiaolin is resting, said finally Jacob.

Carter was twisting her hands, lips curled tight. O'Neill stared at the wall in front of him, his back very straight. Teal'c glared at the table. Suzie Brigtman came in and sit down while continuing to go through a file.

- According to what I'm reading, you were cloned only once, by someone called Harlan, with the exception of colonel Carter and of general O'Neill. But this last clone is still a teenager and, furthermore, I checked, he…

- Is on Earth at the moment, I checked too, cut in O'Neill.

- Colonel Carter's clone is busy invading the galaxy and anyway, he didn't appear in Xiaolin's memories, _a priori_, continued the doctor. "You met an alien life form who can take the shape of a human being and who you called _lieutenant Taylor_. But I don't think we're dealing with anything of the sort."

- The drug they made him drink isn't "Sokar's blood" for several reasons, said Jacob. "The liquid they had us absorb was red …"

- Obviously, grumbled O'Neill.

- Furthermore, none of us returned with Daniel's throat inflamation. It seems to come from this liquid. Last, if Daniel had been under the influence of an hallucination provoked by the "blood", _we_ wouldn't have been able to see Teal'c.

- So? asked Carter.

- So I don't know, confessed Jacob. "I really don't understand."

* * *

SG1SG1SG1

* * *

Xiaolin closed his eyes.

_**Daniel opened his eyes with difficulty. Some blood had dried on his eyebrow and bluish lines veined his forehead. Baal shot him a sardonic smile, his hands crossed in his back.**_

_**- Did the death of your friend make you think, human?**_

_**- About your cruelty ? I had it all figured, y'know, answered Daniel, swallowing hard.**_

O'Neill looked like he was about to say something but decided otherwise. Anger, pain and pride quarrelled to take over his face.

_**- Somebody else wanted to share your captivity, smoothed Baal, signing to Xiaolin.**_

_**The door slid and two Jaffa entered, dragging major Carter. They threw her on the ground, in front of the Goa' uld who pushed her with his foot**__**  
**__**- Your friends are tenacious and they care about you, human, he giggled.**__**  
**__**He snapped his fingers and the Jaffa forced the bluish liquid in Daniel's throat for the second time.**_

Colonel Carter's hands were gripping on her tightened chest, her eyes staring at her double curled up on the ground. O'Neill had clenched his jaw and torn a corner of his jacket. Jacob tried to clear his arm Teal' c had grabbed unconsciously.

_**- Sam, stammered Daniel when he came back to his senses. "Sam… are you ok? They …"**_

_**He coughed. Baal bent and grabbed the young woman's hair. He lifted her head.**_

_**- Charming, really, he chuckled. "And so faithful to your lost cause, just like the shol'va!"**_

_**Daniel tried to free himself from the railing.**_

_**- Please, he pleaded. "Please, I beg you! I swear I…"**_

_**Baal turned to the archaeologist, his face deformed by anger.**_

_**- "I swear" what? You humen are always making ridiculous oaths! Give me the codes of your iris and I shall spare the woman. This is the only thing I shall consider!**_

_**Daniel looked at Carter with despair. She gritted her teeth, her eyes squinted. Her arms were tied in her back and her jacket was torn. She had a bandage oozing on her leg and smoke all over her face.**_

_**- Don't tell him anything, she articulated painfully. "Definitely don't tell him anything…"**_

_**- Keep silent! raged Baal.**_

_**He threw her against the ground and grabbed the poison flask on the table.**_

_**- No! shouted Daniel. No! Please! No!**_

_**Baal poured the entire flask on the major.**_

O Neill jumped up on his feet.

- Daniel! Oh God, Daniel… sobbed Carter, thumping at the table.

Jacob hijacked his arm when Teal' c joined solemnly his hands on his lap.

_**The dying scream dimmed out slowly. The young woman's head slid slowly on the ground as her body relaxed little by little. Her jacket burnt in the silence.**_

_**- You're a monster… stuttered Daniel, tears flowing without restraint on his face. "A monster…"**_

_**Baal shrugged. He caressed his goatee, then made a big sign.**_

_**- Take that and burn it, he ordered. "And put the prisoner in his cell."**_

_**He went out in a wide movement of his black coat. Xiaolin deactivated the railing. The young archaeologist collapsed on the ground. He crawled up to the body of the major and turned her delicately to him.**_

_**- Sam… he murmured like if he did not realize she had died. "Samantha Carter… I'll tell the world you were heroic… Oh, Sam…"**_

_**He gathered his strength, got on his elbows, then on his knees. Two Jaffa destabilized him as they passed next to him and collected the body without care. One of them loaded him on his shoulder.**_

_**- Why… why did you let this happened? asked Daniel as Xiaolin's steps approached. His voice broke. "Aren't you human, too?"**_

_**There was no answer.**_

_**Daniel closed his eyes and allowed himself to sink into the unconsciousness.**_

O'Neill grabbed Xiaolin's arm.

- He's right. Why did you allow it? Why did you let Baal kill us in front of him? Why did you comply with this morbid masquerade?

Xiaolin gave him a tired look.

- Even if I did tell you, you wouldn't understand...

O'Neill's face drained. He shook the little man.

- Oh _yes_, we _would_ understand! If you didn't spend time considering us so stupid!

- The Tok'ra have their methods, began Jacob. "I don't approve of all of them, but…"

- Gimme a break, with your methods! yelled O'Neill before leaving the room in rage.

The door fell down in a petrified silence.


	11. Please don't be proud, sir

_**No, Jack isn't a happy camper, indeed. He's feeling miserable and powerless and it's just too much for him, I think. But it won't stop me… Sorry… (or am I, really ?)**_

* * *

O'Neill had not slept at all. Dark blue circles underlined his eyes and his features seemed more marked, incrusted. He was watcing doctor Brightman through the thick window. The young woman finished examining Daniel. She helped him lay down and patted his arm.

- Well done, she said, smiling. "You're getting a lot better. Another week and I'll take off most of these uncomfortable bandages.

- And when can I see general Hammond?

Suzie stepped aside, without answering.

- Hello, doctor, said Georges Hammond from the door frame where he was standing. "I'm glad to see your health is improving."

Daniel got himself on his elbow.

- You won't be glad to hear what I have to tell you, he said hoarsely. "major Carter, Teal' c and Jack O'Neill died, sir. Prisoners of Baal."

Hammond frowned.

- So I was told, he said, with a glance in doctor Brightman's direction. "It _is_ a tragedy and we are all very affected. I was – ahem - sad you were not able to attend the funeral service, doctor Jackson. But I'm delighted to see _you_ are recovering.

Daniel sank back in his pillow, eyes closed.

- It's not a _tradegy_, he murmured. "It's the most monstrous thing in the world…"

O'Neill tightened his fists behind the window, feeling emotion overwhelming him.

- It's not your fault, son, was saying Hammond slowly, on the other side of the glass, bending over Daniel.

The young man's chin was trembling.

- You didn't give in to the threats and you kept defending your teammates until the last moment. Gen… _colonel_ O'Neill would be very proud of you. I _am_ very proud to know you.

- Please don't be proud, sir, cut Daniel hoarsely. "_Don't be_ proud. Dismiss me, send me away. I betrayed my country, I betrayed SGC, my teammates … I betrayed Jack … I missed everything …

His eyes were dry, but his face looked like ashen and his voice told how much he hated himself.

Hammond turned to the window, asking silently for help. He did not know O'Neill had just gone out of the room because he could not bear listening to his friend anymore.

* * *

_**TBC**_

_**(And brace yourself, chapter 12 made my hair stand in fear.**_

_**And I cried. Oh, I cried so much.)**_


	12. Now, what's your anwer ?

Once again, they were all gathered in the VIP room. The module was on Xiaolin's temple, connected to the hologram projector. Everyone was holding his breath.

Slowly, an image formed…

**_The dagger had pierced right under his ribs, like if Baal knew exactly how to aim to spare his life while making him suffer._**

**_- You will speak, chuckled the goa' uld. "You will speak, as many others did before you. All of them spoke. Nobody has ever resisted me!"_**

**_- Jack did, articulated Daniel with difficulty._**

**_Sweat streamed on his forehead. His T-shirt was torn in several places and they clearly saw the purplish mark of violent hit on his abdomen, through a tear._**

**_- Impertinent! spat Baal._**

**_He moved like if this time he was going to kill him, then decided otherwise and had a devilish smile._**

**_- Bring the slave!_**

**_The Jaffa were not long and came back pushing in front of them a woman with long red hair, heavily chained._**

**_Baal grabbed her by the chin and lifted her head to make sure Daniel could recognize her._**

**_- You know this woman, isn't it? She will make a host of choice for my daughter or my sister as was your wife, human… Abydos grows good harvest for the Goa' ulds._**

Carter's horrified eyes were staring at the terrorized woman who was kneeling down. Teal' c got up, as if he wanted to intervene in the scene. O'Neill was scrutinizing the hologram, Xiaolin, everything, frantically looking for a way to change what was happening on screen. Jacob looked grave. Suzie Brightman twisted her hands.

**_- Olleya, stammered Daniel. Oh no, don't…_**

**_The young woman craddled her arms around herself. Her wrists bled, grazed by the chains. Blood also dripped from her cut lip. Her shoulders and legs were heavily bruised. Her dress hung on her like a bag and her belt was loose._**

**_- Daniyel, she begged. "Daniyel, don't let them hurt me! Please! I beg you"_**

**_Baal twisted her arm and took a flask of poison._**

**_- Give me the code, human, he ordered. "Otherwise…"_**

**_He poured a drop of poison on the arm of the young woman. She screamed and struggled to break free._**

**_- I can't, Olleya, I can't… stuttered Daniel._**

**_- Yes, you can! she sobbed. "Give him what he wants! Tell him everything! Daniyel! No - don't touch me! No! DANIYEL, PLEASE! Please, I beg you ! No! No – no, don't !"_**

**_Baal giggled as he watched Daniel avoid looking in the eyes of the young woman who whrithed in pain._**

O'Neill gave a punch onto the table and hurt himself.

- How could you watch that? _How_?

His voice was so hoarse it hurt.

**_Daniel suddenly raised his head._**

**_- Stop! Stop everything! I'll tell you!_**

**_Baal shot him a suspicious look, then poured the antidote on Olleya's wounds. He released his grip on her and she collapsed like a doll made of rags._**

**_- Really, now. Well, I'm listening._**

**_- Promise you won't hurt her anymore!_**

**_Daniel's eyes stared at the goa' uld, determined. His face reflected pain and bitterness._**

**_- You are in no position to negotiate, whispered Baal, threatening._**

**_- Promise me!_**

**_Baal took the flask of poison._**

**_- Speak, or the woman you're protecting will die._**

**_Daniel gave the code._**

Carter and Teal' c exchanged a look with O'Neill.

The hologram went out and Xiaolin heaved a sigh of fatigue.

- What happened? asked Jacob.

- This was the first of the former codes that appeared last month, explained finally Carter. "Daniel lied, deliberately."

- It was a dangerous game, said Xiaolin.

- When did Baal noticed? asked Teal' c.

- As soon as he had the code tried, said the former lothar, settling a little more comfortably in his armchair and massaging his temples. "May I have something to eat?"

- Of course, said Carter without moving.

Doctor Brigthman looked at her during a few seconds then eventually got up. She stopped at the door frame and looked back for a long time.

- All of this doesn't explain why Daniel thinks he's back one year ago.

- They didn't make him drink their bluish drug, this time, noticed O'Neill aloud.

Nobody reacted. Everybody was still in shock.

- It's monstrous, murmured Carter. "How could _even_ Baal have such an idea?"

- And how was he able to make us appear? specified Teal' c.

Suzie came back with a tray from the mess and sat automatically, without verifying Xiaolin's vitals. The man ate a little, drank a lot and looked surly. O'Neill strummed nervously on the table, unaware he was doing so.

- Ready? asked Jacob.

Xiaolin nodded. The hologram trembled over the polite surface of the table…

**_- Daniyel? Daniyel, please wake up … Daniyel… please, wake up, they will be back soon…_**

**_Olleya's long hair swept on the yellowish ground of the gravitation cell. She was leaning over the young archaeologist and shook his shoulder from time to time, trying to attend to his injuries._**

- How come… began O'Neill, turning to Jacob.

- Xiaolin certainly watched this scene, shrugged the old man.

**_Slowly, Daniel was coming back to his senses._**

**_- Olleya? You're alive?_**

**_- The god stopped his own poison._**

**_- It's not a god. Just a disgusting parasite. Why did he put us in the same cell? What does he want of us?_**

**_- He granted you a favor, said the hollow voice of Xiaolin, who was invisible on the hologram. "Don't be ungrateful."_**

**_Daniel got up with difficulty and lifted his head, winking to distinguish who was speaking._**

**_- Why do you allow him to treat us like this? What did we do to you to make you so insensible? Where are my other friends?_**

**_- Keep silent! You ask far too many questions and you are not respectful to my master._**

**_Xiaolin probably turned his head away because the cell disappeared from the hologram, which only showed the orange corridors of Baal's base and two Jaffa standing on each side of the prison gate._**

**_- Wait! Where's Jack? Where are the guys from SG14 ? Did you also capture them?…_**

**_Daniel's voice weakened as Xiaolin went away quickly. He turned left in a corridor and doors slid in front of him. _****_For a second, the inside of a laboratory sparkled in shining sun…_**

… then the hologram diluted and failed.

- What's going on? asked Carter immediately. "The last thing we saw, I think it was...

- Can we have a break? asked Xiaolin in a tired and anxious voice.

- Surely not. Answer to this before! O'Neill intervened. 'I didn't dream, this _was_…"

- I also saw what seemed to be a laboratory, added Teal' c, gravely, getting up to take place between the brother of Freya and the door.

- You never spoke about a laboratory, continued slowly Jacob. "I suspected you hid something, Xiaolin. Tell us, now."

Xiaolin sat back slowly, his eyes on the four others who surrounded him, almost threatening.

- Not now, he sighed. Later… after...

- After what? cut in O'Neill.

**_- I know what you're doing! shouted Daniel. "Everything's fake! They're not real! You make me drink this suff to make me believe it but they're not my friends! You're lying to me since the beginning!"_**

**_- You're cleverer than I thought, human, chuckled Baal. "But you are wrong nevertheless. I did capture your friends and I shall execute them one by one in front of your eyes until you give me the exact code to open the gate to your world._**

**_He caressed cherishly the iron claw he held in his black glove and turned around Olleya who was on her knees at his feet, head low._**

**_- Did I make you drink anything, today? Did I not leave you in the presence of your slave friend during the night ? Are you sure she is not real ?_**

**_His voice was soft, cruel. A shiver ran down Daniel's spine._**

**_- If you captured my friends, bring Jack here!_**

**_- Give me the code first thing, human._**

**_- I'll never give you the Earth!_**

**_A tension of his jaw twisted Baal's wrathful face. He pressed brutally the iron claw on Olleya's neck and watched her writhing in pain without moving an eyelash._**

**_- Noooooo! No please - stop! Please! Please, stop, please!_**

**_Baal took off the claw inquiringly and a cynical smile slid on his lips._**

**_- Do you have something to tell me, human?_**

**_Daniel stared blankly at Olleya's body jolted on the ground, moaning and sobbing. Baal grabbed one of his Jaffa's spear and threw it in the young man's direction. The spear crashed into Daniel's ribs who released a cry of pain. He lifted his head and met the sarcastic eyes of the goa' uld._**

**_- Well? What's your answer?_**

Another former code resounded in the VIP room.

- He didn't know what he was exposing himself to, murmured Jacob.

- He didn't know what to do any more, said O'Neill slowly, like if he was talking to himself . "He needed us… he wanted to save _us_ - but we weren't there help _him_ …"

**_- You're lying! spat the goa' uld. "You're lying, yet again! You want to defy me, arrogant human! Thus see the slave die because of you!"_**

**_Baal raised his iron gauntlet and the deathly light wrapped Olleya's forehead as she turned to Daniel in despair._**

**_- No! Please don't! Don't do it! I'll give you the real code! I … Please! Please …_**

**_Tears were filling his mouth. The young woman's arms got up spasmodically, as to implore one last time, then she slumped slowly and rested on the sparkling floor, her eyes wide opened. Blood streamed slowly from her nose._**

Crankcase wiped her cheeks with a quick backhand.

- Baal still tried this code, isn't it? said Xiaolin. "He didn't know what to think of your friend's courage. One day he took him for a coward, the next he wanted to rip him with his own hands …"

Jacob removed the module. Xiaolin took it back slowly and put it back on his temple, shaking his head.

- Now, you must know everything. Your friend needs to know as well. Why he suffered. What I did. How I betrayed my kind while thinking I was being useful to them. How Daniel Jackson showed me the path to reedeme my soul…

The hologram danced slowly over the table, before first images of the laboratory appeared …

**_- Are you done, now? asked Baal's voice as he moved in his wave-like fashion, going the other side of the table._****_  
_****- I'm almost done, master. These beings were made of an advanced technology but I was able to improve them.**

**_Xiaolin's hands entered the picture as he lifted the white fabric that covered a human shape on the table. Teal'c's half-body appeared._**

**_- The shol'va was the most difficult to reproduce. To make a clone of Jaffa from a machine was …_**

- Oy, intervened O Neill. "I'm having troubles following. What machine are you talking about? And what clone?"

Jacob signed him to keep quiet. Carter wrinkled her eyes, trying to understand. Teal' c glared at his double who laid on the table.

**_- This Harlan believed he prevented us from succeeding, with his self-destruction, but …_**

- Harlan died, then… murmured Carter.

**_- His researches were perfectly preserved, as well as the notes he wrote about SG 1, added Xiaolin. "I can promise these clones will be operationals in a few days."_**

**_- And convinced to be the real ones? asked Baal with a sneaky smile._**

**_- Convinced, my Lord, confirmed Xiaolin. "And without any means to prove the opposite, because they will be very human, this time."_**

- What have you done? articulated Jacob, livid.

The hologram worn off. Xiaolin reopened his eyes. His face was completely drained out.

- I was convinced this could serve the Tok' ra purposes, one day! He defended himself. "I thought you would have more hosts without having to wait for human beings to be at death's door! Baal was not wary of me and had provided me with his laboratory …"

- And what was Daniel's role in there? asked O'Neill, sharply.

Xiaolin rested his head against the armchair. He breathed in deeply.

- Doctor Jackson's coming into the picture had nothing to do with my plans. Really nothing …

The hologram started again to sparkle.

**_Doors opened all of a sudden and Baal whirled in, very excited, his long black coat floating behind him._**

**_- Here comes the perfect opportunity to test your clones! he exclaimed. "Human are stubborn when it comes to betraying their kind but they hate when their friends suffer. I want you to bring them one by one in front of doctor Jackson till he understands I am his master!"_**

**_- Forgive me, my Lord, but my clones present an inconvenience …_**

**_Baal's eyes glistened with fury._**

**_- I will remedy to it, of course! insured immediately Xiaolin._**

**_Baal relaxed little, eyebrows still frowned._**

**_- What is it?_**

**_- My clones were made from machines based on SG 1 before the human called O'Neill withdrew from the battlefield. They call each other colonel and major, and they could reveal everything by mistake._**

**_- What are you going to do, then? responded Baal, annoyed._**

**_- Give me one more day, master, and I shall prepare a beverage which will disturb the senses of the prisoner and will prevent him from noticing the anomalies._**

**_Baal tilted his head, satisfied._**

**_- A day. Good._**

Suzie Brightman grabbed Xiaolin's sleeve.

- What was in there? Is Daniel going to be affected by it for the rest of his life?

- No, answered Xiaolin. I suppose he's regaining his memories bit by bit, now he situating himself in the right year.

- But the trauma persists! Insisted the young woman.

- It will stop when you show him these images. When you show him what he went through because of me…

- Daniel will forgive you, because we _are_ alive, said Carter.

- Olleya was _not_ a clone, sighed Xiaolin. "She was here to destablise him even more. He fought against the drug much more strongly than we expected."

- You're a monster, dropped O'Neill.

- _Baal_ is a monster, corrected Jacob.

- No, he's right. I could have prevented the…I should have done something before he…

- What? asked Carter, feeling a dreadful shiver run down her spine.

- The last of your teammates hasn't yet been seen, murmured Xiaolin. "For this one, Baal wanted doctor Jackson to give in…"

- The last one ?

There was a long silence. Then everybody turned to O'Neill. The light of the hologram slid on his face, giving him a ghostly appearance.


	13. I'll never tell you Ever

_Thanks for the reviews that keep encouraging me ! I'm very grateful. Here, we're almost at the end. Hope you enjoy this thirteenth chapter !_

_..._

* * *

_**- Bring the prisoner! Put him here!**__**  
**__**Daniel, who was sitting on the ground in his cell, lifted his head. He didn't seem to notice Xiaolin was observing him.**__**  
**__**- Bunch of idiots! protested a furious voice. "Great. I already know this place! Very bad location for holidays!"**__**  
**__**Daniel stood up, leaning against the wall.**__**  
**__**- Jack? Jack, is it you?**__**  
**__**The picture moved a little and both twin cells took shape onto the hologram. In one, Daniel groped against the wall, listening to it. In the other one, O'Neill was getting up, cursing.**_

_**- Jack?**__**  
**__**- Daniel? You here, too?**__**  
**__**- I've been here from the beginning!**__**  
**__**- Carter and Teal'c with you? They took them …**__**  
**__**A few seconds of terrible silence.**__**  
**__**- Sam and Teal'c died… answered finally Daniel.**__**  
**__**Jack took in the piece of information. He made the tour of his cell, arms crossed, then sat down heavily. On the other side of the wall, Daniel also sat.**_

_**- Baal wants the iris code, said Daniel after a while. "It's been days and days…"**__**  
**__**- Did he torture you?**__**  
**__**The young man didn't answer.**__**  
**__**- Teal'c died free and Sam died a soldier, murmured Jack. "They died faithful to themselves."**__**  
**__**- Faithful to themselves, repeated Daniel, raucously.**__**  
**__**- Why didn't he kill you too? asked O'Neill, scratching his head.**__**  
**__**Daniel put his elbows on his knees and watched his hands hanging, empty.**_

_**- I don't know. In the beginning, he was putting me in the sarcophagus, then he stopped.**__**  
**__**- Dunno what he's got in his sleeve, now – twisted snake, growled out O'Neill.**__**  
**__**Daniel had a broken laughter.**__**  
**__**- I thought Apophis was top in monstrousness, but Baal beats him to the core…**__**  
**__**- Still, we'll get him too, don't worry, hammered O'Neill, banging his fist against the wall.**__**  
**__**A little dust crumbled off on Daniel's side.**__**  
**__**- I thought I was never gonna hear any of your voices…**_

_**- Think positive, said Jack with a face telling the opposite. "Everything will be okay, Daniel. We'll make it out of here. We have allies in the galaxy, yes or no? … Or did you mess up the treaty?"**__**  
**__**- The treaty's okay, Jack, said Daniel with a bitter smile. "The allies might not be as good, though. And everybody probably think we're dead …"**__**  
**__**- The first one who tells me that me when we go back to the SGC, I kick his ass, promised O'Neill.**__**  
**__**There was another silence.**_

_**- I don't want dawn to come, murmured Daniel.**__**  
- Are you reciting poems? asked O'Neill, raising his voice. "I can't hear you very well."  
- I was thinking aloud ! snapped back the young man.  
**__**- Ah.**__**  
**__**O'Neill settled a little more comfortably against the wall. They were back to back, as if an instinct had so placed them to strengthen their friendship.**_

_**- You didn't say anything, Daniel?**_

_**- No.**_

_**There was another silence, even more opressant.**_

_**- I knew it, said finally O'Neill.**_

The hologram vacillated, then went out. Xiaolin opened his eyes with difficulty.  
- Then I left, he explained. I could not bear to watch them any more, as they were encouraging each other, when one of the two was going to die.  
- So I died said O'Neill.  
- Your colonel double did, sir, corrected Carter.  
- We can explain everything to Daniel, then, concluded doctor Brightman.  
- We have not yet seen the death of O'Neill, said slowly Teal'c.  
He turned his dark eyes to Xiaolin.

- I have the feeling the key of Daniel Jackson's rescue is there.  
Xiaolin shook his head.  
- Indeed.

_**Torches were burning with dancing flames in the room of torture. Baal made a wide movement with his black coat and sat down on his throne with a cruel smile.**__**  
**__**- What are you gonna do with me? Why… what you waiting for?**_

_**Daniel's voice was tired, discouraged. He was stuck to the gravitation railing and scrutinized the Goa'uld's face with anxiety. Some blue liquid streamed on his chin. Baal's smile widened.**__**  
**__**- For the last time, I'm asking you, human. What is the code that opens your iris?**__**  
**__**Daniel straightened up.**__**  
**__**- I'll never tell you. Ever.**_

_**Baal pouted. He raised his arm and slapped his fingers. The double door opened and two Jaffa entered, dragging Jack O'Neill, chained. They threw him at Baal' foot and they clearly saw his colonel tags in the torches' light.**__**  
- Jack!  
**__**- Daniel. Good to see you face to face.**__**  
**__**- Silence! barked the Jaffa, striking Jack with their spears.**__**  
**__**- Easy, guys, I did nothing to you, mumbled the colonel, moistening his split lip. "I might have done some harm to Darth Vader, here, though."**__**  
**__**Baal had a small laughter. He got up and opened the console. Daniel stiffened.**_

_**- Oh, yippie, said O'Neill. "Such a good memory…"**__**  
**__**- Isn't it? giggled Baal, the small flask of poison in his hand.**__**  
**__**- Don't… began Daniel. "I …"**__**  
**__**- Let him say his little speech, Daniel, cringed Jack, with desdain. "Goa' ulds **_**adore**_** making a show of their lives. Isn't it the only thing they're good at?"**__**  
**__**Baal's eyebrows frowned imperceptibly.**_

_**- You are always so talkative, he slid with a sneaky smile. "Did you tell your friends how you begged me? Implored?"**__**  
**__**O'Neill's eyes glistened with rage.**__**  
**__**- Maybe we could show him? the goa' uld whispered, uncorking the flask.**__**  
**__**- Don't hurt him! Daniel intervened. "I… I forbid you! I told you everything, I…"**__**  
**__**- Enough! roared Baal, furious, throwing his dagger at the head of the young man.**__**  
**__**The blade touched Daniel's face then fell on the ground with a hollow noise.**_

_**- Enough! repeated Baal. "For the last time, I order you to answer me!"**__**  
**__**- As if ordering around was enough to get what you want, grumbled Jack.**__**  
**__**He let out a cry of pain when the poison burnt his skin and craddled his left hand. Baal considered him with satisfaction then turned to Daniel.**__**  
**__**- Well?**__**  
**__**- I won't tell you, articulated Daniel, his teeth clenched.**_

_**Baal shrugged and signed to the Jaffa. One armed his spear and fired at the colonel. There was a bright light, a shout and Jack collapsed, abdomen touched.**__**  
**__**- Stop! shouted Daniel. "Please, I beg you!"**__**  
**__**The corners of Baal's mouth got up a little.**__**  
**__**- Do-n't… say… a… ny… thing …**__**  
**__**The eyes of the goa' uld rounded. Jack lifted himseldf slightly on his elbow, his left hand wrinkled on the smoking wound.**_

_**- Do-n't… speak… he hiccupped, his mouth full of blood.**__**  
**__**- Jack! Please! You…**__**  
**__**Daniel's voice choked. Baal chuckled.**__**  
**__**- Give me the code and I will put him in a sarcophagus. You will work in one of my mines. It will be a slow, painful death but you will die together, as you seem to want it so much …**__**  
**__**- B-better… to die… now… then…b-betray… ours …**__**  
**__**Baal bit his lips, irritated. He bent towards O'Neill and made the man turn to him unceremoniously.**_

_**- Beg for my forgiveness, human, he hissed. "Beg me or …"**__**  
**__**He poured slowly his poison into the wound.**__**  
**__**- No! No-oo! I beg you!**__**  
**__**Tears flowed on Daniel 's ravaged face, as Jack's scream dimmed off in a gurgle.**__**  
**__**- I'll tell you everything, Daniel sobbed. "Please… please, stop… don't do that…**__**  
**__**Baal smiled.**__**  
**__**- He's not dead yet. Speak, and he will live.**__**  
- I …**_

_**Daniel looked at the colonel's body, curled up. He swallowed hard.**__**  
- Da… niel …  
Jack's shoulders shivered. His eyelids fluttered, blinded by the blood that flowed from his eyebrow. Baal stiffened.  
**__**Daniel's eyes hung onto Jack's. The colonel slowly shook his head.**__**  
**__**- I …**__**  
**__**Baal grinded his teeth. He raised his hand and wrapped Jack's forehead in the mortal light.**__**  
**__**- No! screamed Daniel. "Wait!"**__**  
**__**- I waited enough! responded Baal.**_

The code echoed in the VIP room.


	14. I want to be alone with him

Carter was crying silently. The general's eyes were still on the screen and his fists were so thightened his fingers had turned white. Teal'c cleared his throat. Jacob turned his head away.

_**- You told me you'd spare him! stuttered Daniel.**_

_**Baal released his grip and stepped back.**_

_**- He's not dead yet, he smirked.**_

_**He made a gesture and the railing was deactivated. Daniel fell heavily on the ground.**_

_**- To the Stargate! ordered Baal to the Jaffa.**_

_**He went out, cloaked in shadows.**_

_**- Jack?**_

_**Daniel's body was trembling. He gathered his strength and crawled up to the wounded body of his friend. Two of the Jaffa who had stayed stepped in front of him.**_

_**- Jack? Answer me… please …**_

_**O'Neill moved imperceptibly. He turned his head with difficulty in the direction of Daniel.**_

_**- Jack… forgive me… I …**_

_**The young man's exhausted face reflected in the polite ground of the room, stained with blood drops.**_

_**- Da… niel …**_

_**The colonel's bruised eyelids hardly half-opened. Daniel streched his arm under the crossed spears. He could almost touch his friend.**_

_**- You… did-dn't… have… to do…. that…. why…**_

_**Tears streamed on Daniel's face.**_

_**- I would have never let them kill you…**_

_**Jack swallowed with difficulty and coughed.**_

_**- the… SGC … Earth …**_

_**Daniel closed his eyes. Pain was written on his face.**_

_**- Forgive me …**_

_**O'Neill grunted. He hiccupped one or two times.**_

_**- Carter will find a solution …**_

_**Daniel reopened his eyes. He moved a little to try to get closer, but a Jaffa gave him a blow with the spear.**_

_**- Da… niel… it is … was…**_

_**O'Neill smiled in spite of its sufferings. The young man swallowed his tears.**_

_**- You're right … Hammond will know what to do …**_

_**A distant explosion made the room startled. The Jaffa paused, looking at each other.**_

_**- Jack?**_

_**The ceiling crumbled off on them. The Jaffa ran to the door.**_

_**- Jack? Jack!**_

_**Daniel looked, horrified at his friend's hand, inert.**_

_**- The base is under attack! yelled someone in the corridor.**_

_**- I can help you! whispered Xiaolin's voice as he squatted next to Daniel. "Come with me!"**_

_**- No … Jack! Jack, hang on! We'll get you home!**_

_**Xiaolin threw Daniel's arm on his shoulders and helped him up.**_

_**- Come. Fast!**_

_**- No, wait …**_

_**Daniel looked at O'Neill now peaceful face, marbled with blood and smoke.**_

_**- Wait …**_

_**- He's dead, said Xiaolin. "We can nothing more for him. Come, hurry. Baal certainly did not have time yet to launch his offensive against your world. Come. The Gate will not be guarded. I know a passage …"**_

_**He pulled the young man off the room, half carrying him. Jack's body faded away on the hologram, a curled up man, abandoned at the foot of the throne, on a shining ground.**_

- We managed to go to the Gate and you allowed us to come across, concluded sadly Xiaolin, massaging his temples. "And here we are."

The heavy silence only answered him. Carter wiped her tears with her sleeve. O'Neill's chair scrapped the floor, making them all jump when he got up and went to the door, with a very hard look.

- This is why I decided to take him back to your world. Because he was …

Xiaolin cleared his throat.

- I… I have… he was different. You were different from other human beings. Even from the Tok' ra …

Jack freezed, his hand on the handle of the door.

- It's only _now_ you notice it?

His voice was charged with emotion and anger.

- General?

Carter and Suzie Brightman looked at him, puzzled.

- I'll go see Daniel.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

- I want to be alone with him.

Carter exchanged a look with Teal'c who nodded gravely.

- Not too long, then, whispered the doctor, trying stay professional.

Jack didn't answer. He left and closed slowly the door behind him.

- Thank you, said Jacob, exhausted. He will never tell you that, Xiaolin, but thank you. For bringing back Daniel. For telling us. For showing us.

He reach out to the man's temple and removed softly the module.


	15. The Nightmare is over, Danny

Jack brought a hand to his mouth, keeping his eyes on Daniel who was sleeping. His thoughts were whirling in his head. He closed his eyes, trying to escape the sight of his friend's face as he betrayed the SGC, a face flooded with tears, in an ultimate attempt to save him.

His friend laughing soflty at him to help him hang on to life and hope, not so long ago, in a cell where he was alone.

In a pyramid where he had believed his wasted life was gonna end and where the laughter of a clumsy archaeologist had resounded.

A mocking smile eternally present.

- "Jack?"

He opened his eyes. Daniel winked, hardly awake.

O'Neill swallowed.

- "The nightmare is over, Danny", he said, trying to take a light voice. "Your holidays as well. The president is not very happy. We need you for the Stargate program. I need you.

There wasn't enough light in the almost empty room. A man was sitting at the bedside of an other man and their friendship filled the silence.

THE END

* * *

_Thanks so much for following the story ! It seems to me everything that needed to be said/explained had been checked, but if you have questions or requests, do not hesitate to review the fic or to PM. I'll be glad to answer !_

_It was a pleasure and an honor to write for you in the Stargate SG1 fandom._


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